If you knew your mom’s lying to you but she doesn’t admit that she is, what will you do?
I’ve been keeping my doubts for weeks, coming up with arguments supporting both sides of the coin. Today, I’ve finally decided that she was lying and so I confronted her. I called her phone in rage. I raised my voice. I was just hoping she’d say the truth. But the more she held on to her lie, the angrier I became. She hasn’t finished talking when I dropped the call. A few seconds later, she called to defend herself. I still wasn’t convinced so I dropped the call again.
This is the first time in more than a decade that I talked to my mom so harshly. When my dad first left us when I was 14, I promised myself never to upset her because she doesn’t deserve it. Being the only one who supports the family, it was unfair of me to cause her heartaches. So I did my best to fulfill my promise. I also tried not to get into fights with my brothers and acted like a mother to them to lessen my mom’s burden at home.
So now, you get why I also hurt myself with what I did. Though I know she wasn’t telling truth, it doesn’t justify what I did. I literally feel bad. I think I’m going to get sick. And if I were a little more religious, I’d say that the strong winds that followed our short phone “conversation” was God telling me that I was wrong.
Yellow is anything but yellow. 
Try talking to your mum face to face. Being calm helps. Perhaps you can try to ask her why she’s hiding this information?
I already told her that she can tell me the truth and I won’t get mad. But she still insisted that she wasn’t lying. Arguing with her is so tiring. *sigh*
3 things come to mind immediately:
1. As sk taught me, “feelings are never wrong” however, how you communicate those feelings can be detrimental. You can apologize for your actions but please do not apologize for your feelings.
2. Try to live in the present. You know she lies and you’ve told her that you know she lies. End of story. This knowledge may influence your future relationship with your mother. Some people in life are “pint size” (not much to give in terms of love, respect, affection, etc.,) while others are “gallon givers” (these people overflow with support, love, affection, adoration, etc.). It almost seems unfair to expect gallon sized affection from a pint sized hearted person. If you keep expecting gallon size love from a pint person, you will continue to be disappointed.
3. Be your own best friend. If your best friend was in a similar position as you, what would be your advice to her/him?
Can you tell I’m older and live with a therapist?!?! LOL Oh my, I rarely go off on life lessons but I do hope you are at least feeling better. Take care. Peace. 🙂
Seems I just availed of free counselling. LOL Seriously, though, thank you. I really appreciate you going out of your way to say these thoughts. Things have calmed down between my mom and I after apologizing, but my actions still haunt me. This different perspective helps me digest what happened in smaller bites. 🙂
Walang ano man! You sound a bit more chipper. 🙂 Peace.
I know, right? 😀 Naninibago pa rin ako pag nagta-Tagalog ka. :p
Don’t worry, I’ve exhausted just about all the Tagalog words I know. . . well, at least the polite words. 🙂
Hope nobody taught you the curse words. LOL 😉
I know a few of those and certain body parts. . . female body parts. 🙂 Honestly, the very first thing a friend taught me to say (trying to impress sk no less) was “maganda suso mo.” lol
OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I’ve never heard anyone say that! Let me try that with my gf. LOL
Hopefully she reacts better than sk; who was horrified at first but oddly impressed after the fact. 🙂
But I might sound like a pervert. LOL